Giving Dad Back

Updated: May 2

Today my mom and I drove out to the beach. We walked until we found a nice quiet spot out of the wind. We sat next to the stream running to the ocean and released my dad back into the world from which he came. We laughed that we kept him in an old bag that once held home made apple sauce, because man he did he love that stuff. We put Grandpa (my mother’s father) into the stream as well. We laughed about all the days my dad made me breakfast before school, and about all the stuff he had packed away in the garage. We laughed that we had his ashes all over our clothes. It doesn’t sound funny now… but it was so lighthearted and wonderful. As a weight had been lifted and he was finally going back where he always wanted. A big new adventure. I still have a bit of him to take into the redwoods. To give him back to the trees he so often crashed into on various sports equipment. Now he will become the sand, the earth, the sky and be part of everything he endeavored to enjoy. I will always laugh and remember this day when I drive down the highway along to the beach and sometimes… I’ll purposefully throw the frisbee into the water, and I will imagine him jumping up and catching it behind his back. or diving into the sand. I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH! We remembered how he would always wander off to the beach, or anywhere really, without saying anything, just gone. I always knew was just off on adventure. And he always came back. So here you go pops! One last great adventure! One that will last forever, one that will roll with the tides, fall with the rain, fly with the wind and grow with the trees. Thank you for teaching me to always drive down the road I’ve never driven. To love what you love and who you love no matter what anyone says about it. And to remember that I am free, just like you, just like everyone in the whole world, to take the road you never have. Or just sit at home watch Perry Mason and eat pop-corn. 🙂

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© 2019 by Sasha Neese.